cubical relief

This site is dedicated to a dark skinned white boy, also known as my brother, who has more style than I ever will.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Back and Married

I am officially married. Has anything changed? Nope. He hasn't become a deranged lunatic... yet. My wedding was a complete blur, but here are some of the top ten highlights.

10. I forgot one of my vows. I said, "I, Nancy, promise to.... what was that again?"

9. When it was time for us to get our rings, the best man and Bradley both walked up to us. Lowell gave us the rings. Then, Brad looked up at Lowell with his ring bearer pillow that had two fake rings and said really loud, "Why am I carrying this thing for?"

9. We got our pictures taken with the homeless guy at the ghetto Subway/Gas Station during our limo bathroom break.

8. The Bestman's Toast - It was 6.5 minutes long, and it went no where. The sad thing was that he was the only one in the wedding party not drunk. Everyone thought that he was though. Anyway, it was horrible. In the video, I am choking myself, and you can hear people telling him to wrap it up.

7. I accidentally stuck my fingernail up Matt's nose when we had to feed each other cake. He was digging frosting out the next day.

6. Matt and the groomsmen stole the golf carts. I almost killed Matt.

5. Thor and his dancing. I didn't know that my reception dance floor was being taped for an Usher video.

4. All of my drunk uncles dancing around with their ties wrapped around their heads while jamming out to YMCA.

3. Parks dancing by himself and really getting into it. It looked like he was having the time of his life.

2. When my cousin Eric caught the garter, he did a touchdown dance. We have never seen anyone so excited before.

1. Our mystery guest. Matt's mom works at a bar, and he overheard her talking about the wedding. He decided to show up. He had really bad parkinson's, and at the end of the night, he managed to climb a tree. Then, he refused to get down because he was too drunk. How he climbed it... I do not know.