cubical relief

This site is dedicated to a dark skinned white boy, also known as my brother, who has more style than I ever will.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

We Have a Name

After months of deliberation, Matt and I have finally decided on a name for the puppy. Her name will be Bella. According to Pet Names World, Bella means beautiful. How fitting!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I Can Fix You

During my lunch break, a man approached me in the parking lot. He said, “I’m an inventor. If I give you my name and number, will you call me? I’m inventing braces that will make the disabled walk.” I looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry sir. Your invention sounds great and all, but I can really walk.” Then, I got into my car and quickly drove away.

Monday, May 22, 2006

It's a Girl!!!

Matt, Brad, and I drove all the way to Corley, Iowa to check out some Golden Retriever puppies that are only 1 week old, and we ended up buying one.

She is a tiny little thing with platinum blonde hair. We get to bring her home on July 5th. This gives us plenty of time to get all of the necessities for our new edition!

Friday, May 19, 2006

Happy First Anniversary!

I can not believe that it has almost been a year (May 21) since Matt and I got married! I've finally decided to post pictures from the event.

The Good

The Bad

Pictures Taken with the Homeless Guy for $1

Lowell's Toast - It was almost longer than our wedding! No joke! We timed it. Notice how we are spaced out as he turns the page!

Matthew and the Groomsmen Stealing the Golf Carts - This was the highlight of their evening, and this was the point where I almost had an annulment

The Ugly

Hands down... Parks and his dancing!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

One of the Reasons Bradley Rocks

Sometimes Bradley likes to write lyrics to his favorite songs. I found his version of the song 1985 by Bowing for Soup. It might be better than the real version. Brad's version is in bold.

Debby just hit the wall.
Debbie just hit the wall
She nevr had it all.
She never had it all
One grozack a day.
One Prozac a day
Azzbenz a CPA.
Husbands a CPA
Her dreams went out the door.
Her dreams went out the door
When she turn 24.
When she turned twenty four
Only then with one man.
Only been with one man
What happened to her plan?
What happen to her plan?

She was going to be a atrants.
She was gonna be an actress
She was going to be star.
She was gonna be a star
She was going to shake her trash
She was gonna shake her ass
on the hood of why steakes car.
On the hood of White Snake's car
Her yellow SUV was now the enimey.
Her yellow SUV, is now the enemy
In her ravig life.
Looks at her average life
Nothing has been all write.
And nothing, has been, alright

Senes Stasy, Madana,
Since Bruce Springstein, Madonna
waiting for her vana.
Way before Nirvana
There was you to an blanty
There was U2, and Blondie
and music still on m TV.
And music still on MTV
Her to kids in high school,
Her two kids, in high school
they tell her that she's on cool
They tell her that she's uncool
but she's still preety aquipd
But she still preoccupied
19 19 1985.
With 19, 19, 1985

Michael's a Mitchum Man

My brother's new deodorant cracks me up, so I had to take a few pictures. I really hope that he doesn't go by their slogan: So Effective You Could Skip A Day. People at his new job would really start to talk about him.

Monday, May 15, 2006

You Spin Me Right Round Baby Right Round

Over the weekend, we celebrated Jess (Matt's sister) and Jonny's wedding. It was luau themed with Hawaiian music, leis, alcohol, and a drunken girl in a wheelchair dancing in circles. Thankfully I didn’t have any pictures of this on my camera, but I am sure one will pop up on one of the disposables. The pictures below were taken before the madness began.

Friday, May 12, 2006

One Wish

If there were anything that I could change about myself, I would get different eyebrows. While watching an episode of Tiara Girls (yes, Tiara Girls), I thought to myself, this girl isn’t going to win this pageant, but she sure has perfect eyebrows! Maybe hers are fakes and she really draws them in.

When I got my makeup done last year, the lady that did my makeup got hers tattooed in. They were perfect, but I could never do that. Maybe I need to take a trip to the MAC cosmetics counter and get some pointers from my girls.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Messy Situation

Remember when I posted the other day that we cleaned under the washer and dryer? Well I forgot to say that Matt moved the dryer, and I, with my super human strength, moved the washer on my own when he wasn’t looking. My legs might not work, but my arms sure do! The other day, I did my first load of laundry, and my laundry room and hall got flooded with water. The hose on the washing machine got disconnected while I was moving it around. Whoops! Now we have a big mess, and my carpet looks like someone had a good night of drinking and didn’t make it to the bathroom! So the moral of the story is.... I need to stop being so impatient and listen to Matt when he says that he will get to it in 5 minutes.

Monday, May 08, 2006


I think that I am nesting. Nesting is "an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world." I am not pregnant. I’m just getting the house prepared for my new dog.

For the past month, Matt and I have completed a number of projects. I tore the wallpaper border down in the kitchen. Matt stoned the fireplace. We landscaped the front of our house and totally reorganized the garage. Then yesterday, I had nothing to do, so I had Matt move the washer and dryer so that I could clean under them.

I’ve been waiting for this dog for the last couple of months, and I was thinking that we were going to get him/her any day now. My neighbor, the one who told us about the puppies, was outside, so I asked her if she had heard anything about the puppies. She said no, but she would let me know. It seems like that is the same story every week. These puppies are never going to be born!!!! Matt told me that we would give it a few weeks, and if my neighbor says nothing about the pups, then we will start looking on our own.

As for the puppie's name, Matt picked Otis for a boy. We still don’t have a girl name. Danger is out of the running, and Cash reminds me of my ex. If you have a girl name besides Honey, please post it!

Monday, May 01, 2006


Over the weekend, one of the most shocking things happened to our friends Michael and Jenni. On Friday morning, Michael brought Jenni to the hospital because she was complaining about really bad stomach cramps. At first the doctor thought that she had kidney stones, so she went and got some x-rays done. After the doctor examined the x-rays, he told Jenni that she was pregnant. A few hours later, she delivered a baby girl.

You’re probably thinking… what’s the big deal? The deal is that Jenni didn’t even know that she was pregnant, and she was six months along! Plus, they just had a baby last September. Now Caroline, who is a little over 7 months, is a big sister! I can’t even imagine what they are going through right now. Talk about a surprise!

The baby is doing well. She is super small. She only weighs around 2 pounds, and she is a little longer than Michael’s hand! She will be living at the hospital for a few months, so hopefully it will give the new parents time to get their home ready for the new little one!